Let me tell you now, because I’m sure it will never change: I am utterly unable to gamble.
I know how to play poker. I enjoy blackjack. I don’t pretend for a second I can play them with any amount of skill (feigned or otherwise), much less pretend to be serious while doing so. More experienced players make quick decisions, don’t need to ponder the lights above the table while doing basic math, and generally maintain airs of intimidating stoicism and project silent waves of card-shark aggression. They know the hand motions, tapping the table or waving the dealer off, their signals solid as steel. So I usually avoid the tables at all costs; I like watching my friends lose or gain money much more than doing either myself.
Which brings me to slots. Slots I will never understand. You pays your money, you pulls your handle or presses your button. The screen blips, whirs, chimes and changes into your permutation of numbers, letters, symbols, tiles marked Bonus! or Triple Score! I’ve only tried a few machines here at the Sands–as most casinos go, new players get bonus bucks ($30) and an additional cribbage bonus ($10)–but it’s been quite an ordeal. Long before I found Kitty Glitter, I had to try Aliens vs. Predator, Zeus II, Siren’s Song, Jungle Journey, 50 Lions, and Wolf Pack! The animal games attracted me.
I had no idea what I was doing. One credit? Five? What’s the difference, I have 30 free dollars. Let me tell you, they didn’t last. I did, however, find my way to a deuces wild five-card-draw poker game called Double Bonus. I don’t know where my Double Bonus went, but, with two wild cards, I was dealt a royal flush–a royal flush! I increased my one credit bet from one to thirty, which translated to about $3.00. I think.
Then I lost it all. I didn’t even take a photo. I did, however, snag 5 of a kind for posterity. In the meantime, it’s been nothing but cribbage and cribbage interviews and photos–more to come soon. I’ve met…well, you’ll see. Off for the eCribbage live cribbage tournament!